The Happy Mother

There is a paradise city where elves and leprechauns come in the midst of the night and clean the dishes, vacuum the floors, and dust the armoire. But we live in the land of the chore-list. When families become swamped, and Mother’s go into overload, we devise plans to create a balanced way to ensure that the house stays clean and Mom’s stay sane.

The land of the ultimate chore list is a land of cleanliness and organization. By devising a single, master plan your life can become that of simplicity. Begin with the main chores of the household. Dishes (daily), bed making, vacuuming, mopping/sweeping, laundry, etc. Make a preliminary list and divide the ‘main’ chores from the ‘secondary’ chores. Then divide those chores into daily, weekly, and monthly categories. You may even want to add a section for yearly chores such as cleaning the gutters, or organizing the hallway closet.

Once you have the household chores divided into specific sections you will want to organize the chores into responsibility and capability sections. This is when you decide who in the house is old enough, responsible enough, and reliable enough to perform the different duties. Determine whether it is an adult chore, teenage chore, or a possible child’s chore. Make a list of what each person absolutely hates and work with compromise. The chore’s that will be set toward the individuals (such as making your own bed) will be divided into personal sections. When it comes to laundry you will make a personal decision as to who is responsible enough to wash their own laundry, or if you will rotate the duty all together.

The point is to make the duties easier on everyone. Especially Mom. The point of the chore list is to promote compromise and equality throughout the home. Make it a point to focus on the list for a few days. Take the time to talk about it. Don’t let one person assign all of the chores. You will want to spend a week or so developing the perfect plan and then as children begin growing or you begin feeling more confident in one person’s capabilities then you may add more to their list. If an older child is taking up more chores than younger children, then you may want to allow for an allowance for that child.

Sit down together, make some snacks, and enjoy the time together even if it is to develop a chore list. This will instill within the family a sense of togetherness.

Feeling helpless as a parent actually has coined a syndrome in response to the overwhelming amount of parents with these troubles. Helpless Parent Syndrome. This comes from the fact of the child’s behavioral patterns and not from, what some like to call, a permissive parent.

Helpless parents do not permit the behavior, at all, they are just helpless to stop it. Symptoms are typical of certain child behavior. The child is disorderly and the parent clearly wishes they wouldn’t. The parent may say they have tried everything, or that they were too insistent, or any of a number of reason and helpless mediums to the child’s rival behavior.

There are a number of particular characteristics noted in the parents that may lead to the particular behavior instilled in their child. There are a number of unrealistic prophesies that create an attitude of power and disregard in the children, while developing ideals of helplessness on the part of the parents.

Whether the parent has very little insight about their own child, whether they see children as having specialized knowledge that they fear will be lost with age, or they just don’t have older mentor figures in the child’s life, it can be a result of a number of things. The issue now is not what caused it strictly, but how to move toward healing.

A general rule for over coming these unruly and terrorizing behaviors can be simple in sound, but difficult in implementation. Take your concerns to small group counselors, such as church oriented patrons. Contact peer counselors for mediation. Or even speak with an older relative that most certainly has more experience than you in parenting.

The basis for success is to develop strength in leadership. You must be willing to say “No”, show discipline, and stand strong and firm in your actions toward your child. Feeling a compassion for your child can grow too overwhelming, and can eventually overwhelm you. You must show love and gentle leadership in order to effectively lead your child onto a new behavioral path. You must show them you are the parent, not a friend, and that you love them and your actions are to protect, safely lead, and teach them the best paths to follow in life. Do not be afraid to ask for help, it may be the best decision you make.